It seems like every facebook post, TV show, instagram submission, or tweet is something involving love. In some cases, specifically long distance love. Ever watch the show catfish? That is long distance love to the truest definition… even if the people aren’t always who they say they are. But why is long distance frowned upon? People often question the choices of those who involve themselves in those situations. Why? Because they don’t agree with it. Why? Because it isn’t easy.
We live in a world where we just expect things to work for them. More and more restaurants are using the drive through/takeout method, and foods are now labeled as “instant:. Instant macaroni and cheese, instant pudding, instant laziness. People don’t feel like putting effort into mundane tasks like cooking anymore, so why would they put effort into things that actually matter? Like getting into a respectable college? Doing well on tests? Or involving themselves in a loving relationship?
People just give up. When faced with a challenge, many people just back down and say “I’m done”. They don’t see the outcome as worth the effort. And honestly, that’s just really sad. So why do long distance relationships have that kind of frowned upon existence?
When I tell people that my boyfriend lives 3 hours away, the looks I get should be photographed and put into a scrapbook. I’ve gotten looks of confusion, gawking stares, disbelief, and my personal favorite, the laugh. Yes, laugh if you will. Laugh at me for devoting a part of my life to someone I can see on the weekends. No, it’s not that easy. Not every weekend, rather every other weekend (if we’re lucky), but sometimes go as long as 5 weeks, and that’s pushing it. Life isn’t easy. I’ve come to terms with that. This situation isn’t easy, and I knew that coming into it. But I do it. Why? Everyone seems to wonder WHY.
Well, I’ll tell you.
I am not afraid. The distance does not phase me in the least. Sure, it would be nice to see him more (DUH), but the fact that I can’t see him all the time makes me appreciate the times I do get to see him. I have the utmost trust in him. Fear is no place for the LDR.
I’m not a wimp. I can handle the terms of the relationship. I do not whine, or complain, about how I haven’t seen him in weeks. My timeline on twitter mostly contains retweets, drunken attempts at rap lyrics, half-asses insults, and girls complaining about how they haven’t seen their boyfriend since yesterday after their English 101 class. Really now y’all? Don’t get me started on that. Just know that I think that is complete and utter bologna, you don’t miss them. You miss having them at your disposal.
I don’t like to waste time. Throughout high school, most of my friends dabbled in pointless relationships that they knew were going nowhere, yet they insisted on being a part of. I, however, did not. I didn’t want to waste time on something that I knew wasn’t going anywhere. I had a few serious boyfriends of course, but the “hate you, break up, call me, “I love you”” type of relationships were the ones i steered clear from. I know that what I have in my life right now is going to be there for a fair amount of time. It isn’t a risk, its a building of my future. It’s the same as leaving home for college in a way. It’s giving me an amazing outcome, but it takes a lot of guts.
The last reason I do this, is painfully obvious, yet is constantly overlooked.
Because I care. Because I have an insane amount of love for him. I don’t do this because I like not being able to see my boyfriend all the time, no, that honestly sucks. It’s hard, it takes a lot of effort, and it will take every ounce of patience you have. But for me, it’s worth it. I don’t just have a boyfriend. I have a lifelong friend, a companion, someone to cook for, someone who will not listen when I tell him to stop tickling me, and someone to care for.
I have always been the type of person who will go without so the people I care about and value can have things. Earlier this year, I sacrificed nights out to hand-paint a cooler for him. Not because he asked me to, and not because he needed it – because I wanted to. In any sort of LDR, these little reminders of how much you care are so necessary. You know deep down the other person cares, but letters, small gifts, surprises, anything that will put a smile on their face will make all the difference.
The concept of a long distance relationship doesn’t only have to exist in a person’s love life, but it could be a part of their family, or a friendship, or anyone that you care about. I go to school 1,000 miles away from my childhood friends. Three of them go to school together in Worcester, MA, and the other few are working on their college plans as we speak. Through gods gift to iphone users, Snapchat, I am able to send my friends little reminders that I didn’t forget them, and that I still exist and miss them quite terrible. I skype my family when I have the time, because my 7 year old sister needs to know that I still care about her even though I can’t see her get ready for school every day. My 14 year old sister texts me, random things, that seem insignificant, but I indulge in that conversation not because I love hearing about 9th grade drama, but because she needs to know I care from below the Mason Dixon line.
After all, you know what they say, “Distance is nothing when someone means everything”.