With the stress of finals setting in, even though my first final isn’t until SATURDAY (who the hell gives finals on a Saturday?), I find myself on a short fuse. Actually a short fuse would be an overstatement – my fuse right now is non-existent. I have zero patience and zero tolerance for anything that even remotely pisses me off. I mean yeah, it definitely isn’t right and I can’t use finals week to justify that kind of behavior, but its the fact of the matter and everyone around me knows it, and is feeling similar things. I get it. It’s the end of the semester, and we all just want to go home. Trust me, I haven’t been home since winter break in January, I’m ready for my own bedroom and my mothers cooking (don’t tell her I said that). That being said, my short fuse is really kicking my ass karmically this week. I feel like the more frustrated I get and play up the small stuff, the more it happens. I can’t say when it rains, it pours, because nothing in my life is really that wrong. But when it rains, it definitely rains. However the rain, that I sometimes like to be dramatic and annoying and portray as monsoon force drops, is really just a mist, or even those times where you swear you feel a raindrop and there isn’t even a cloud in the sky.
Long distance relationships are hard. Relationships are hard when you live down the street from someone, let alone across state lines. I find myself lately getting really freaking annoyed with the couples who are blessed enough to go to the same school as their significant other, who see that person more than once every two weeks, who have the luxury of walking across campus so they can do lame stuff (which I of course take part in with my boyfriend) like watch crappy Netflix movies, and spend all day cuddling or laying in the sun, grab a bite to eat in the Dining Hall (mmmm, Horseshoe Deli), or even just say hi. Maybe I’m just bitter. Maybe I’m a little jealous. Definitely, maybe. But, I still have something many other people don’t. All throughout highschool, I always said having a boyfriend was stupid. And yeah, a bunch of failed relationships probably didn’t help my outlook any, but to me it was stupid nonetheless. I went into college saying the same thing. Annnnnnnnd then I ate my words, like my mother always told me I would. I found Nathan. Literally, stumbled upon him in the most obscure way. How, is irrelevant, but the point is, it happened, and I’ve never been happier. Pretty sure I’ve said before how he goes to college three hours from Columbia, SC at Appalachian State University in Boone, NC. I am completely guilty of complaining about missing him, no doubt there. But really, I feel bad for it. I know there are plenty of people who haven’t felt the way I do, who don’t feel the way I do right now, and who may never feel that way. (I’m optimistic I promise but hey, facts are facts). Every argument we have, whether due to my insecurity, or the distance getting to us, or him getting annoyed with me talking about certain subjects, silly, or serious, somehow always ends up with a good outcome. That’s gotta mean something, right? I mean some days I wake up and im bummed I can’t walk 10 minutes to a grungy all boys dorm to see him, but truthfully I couldn’t be happier that I at least have him.
Sometimes, these things get overlooked. You get too caught up in the things you’re lacking, even if you aren’t really lacking them. Be glad youre a have, rather than a have not. Be it a significant other, a supportive family, or even material goods, be glad you are blessed enough to have such things in your life. For there is always someone who doesn’t.