So it’s another one of those all too familiar nights in college where I question everything I’m doing and my majors and my career path and my classes and why why why why why am I doing all of this. I feel unneccesarily stressed out. Like it’s summer, I should not be feeling like this right now. While I sit here watching more Friends reruns and googling potential jobs for my degrees in progress, I can’t help but feel lost. I don’t have the slightest clue what I want to do with my life. Well, that is actually a lie. I know I want to make money, and be creative, and be able to travel. I just don’t know HOW to get there. And I think that is the problem a lot of college kids, and people in general, face all too often. I was talking to my friend Shane tonight about how I was having a college-life-crisis. Ya know, the kind where you freak out and think your every move is the wrong one and the world is just crumbling around you. So I decided something.
I’m going to add fashion merchandising to my field of study. Why? I freakin’ love clothes. And making outfits. Now that may be hard to believe because I wear norts and oversized sorority tee shirts 6/7 days of the week, but my closet is overflowing with outfits that are dying to see the light of day. And I think it’s about time I took them out for a spin. As well as my passion.
Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to study fashion. From spending 3rd grade science class drawing dresses wth my friends, to keeping an actual list of the clothes I owned and potential outfits for each article of clothing (I was crazy and my friends were crazy for helping me do this), I loved fashion. I was always fascinated by the designers I lusted over like Prada and Jimmy Choo and was captivated by the infinite possibilities that the world of fashion had. It is endless. It is eternal. It is everchanging. But this post isn’t meant to dive into the nitty gritty of why I love fashion so much. That is the farthest thing from the point.
I forgot about my passions. I neglected them for so long that I almost forgot they existed. Until I sat here, feeling lost, and very confused, they were so far out of sight, that they weren’t even in the back of my mind. That was when I realized that I was lost. Because I lost my passions. If you ever feel lost, it is probably because you aren’t doing something that you’re actually passionate about. Yes, I find the worlds of marketing and management interesting. But I am not in LOVE with them. I know that they have potential for a well-paying job in the future, but marketing strategies don’t get me going quite like a beautiful Italian leather handbag would. So, it is time for me to get back into my passion. I will keep studying business, but I need my passion to get me back on track. I don’t even care if it will cause me to not graduate early. I will not be miserable and confused for the next two years, and that is reason enough for me.
I think a lot of college kids feel the pressure to study certain things because their parents want them to, or they only want the money. And I was definitely one of those for a while, because I know I have expensive taste and will need a good paying job. But in the end, I was sacrificing my future for my sanity. Except now my future will be just as bright with even more possibilities, and I will finally have peace in college. Now I trust the path that I’m taking, all because I re-found my passion.