The Price of Beauty//Why Men Aren’t Confusing

I’d like to start this with a rant. I started breaking out earlier this week, and that was not going to fly with me for very long. I was running low on my skincare products, so I headed to work early to stock up. I went to the Clinique counter in Belk and was immediately helped by a skincare expert. Apparently I had been using the wrong combination of products…. nice. So, she set me up with one that was more tailored to my skin type. She also showed me an acne spot treatment serum, which would help when I was in a pinch. I also had a question about a way to hide my dark circles. Rather than making simple lifestyle changes like working less or sleeping more, I turned to the holy grail. Except when I went to pay, the grand total was far more than I expected. $40 for an eye rollerball serum thing that would make my under-eyes beautiful in 12 weeks? Is that a joke? I am paying an obscene amount to feel pretty. That is ridiculous. Here I am, complaining about that, when I know people who are having plastic surgeries for health reasons, but also for themselves so they can feel better. Who said big boobs were ugly? Who said dark circles weren’t cute? Why why why are we taught not to embrace who we are but to change it to keep fitting some kind of beauty standard? Who comes up with these BS standards anyway?

End rant.

Now, today I realized something that changed my outlook on everything. Men are not confusing, girls are just foolish. Ladies, hear me out on this. Men, don’t jump ahead and inflate your egos now. But it’s true. When girls complain about guys being confusing, it is usually pertaining to some sort of “mixed signal” they are being sent. But hey, fun fact, guys aren’t thinking about trying to confuse you. They aren’t really trying to confuse you either. They aren’t thinking anywhere near as much about the situation at hand as you are. Do not flatter yourself and think that he is TRYING to keep you on your toes. Guys just don’t see it that way. I know as girls we love to/cannot help but to overthink things. We create thousands of potential scenarios in our heads, when in reality, none of them are usually how things play out. So, we hype ourselves up for something that we created. A simple “hello” turns into a “he wants me”. An “I’m sorry” translates to “He loves me”. But none of that is true. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. But it doesn’t help when our gal pals are feeding into our scenario building and going along with it. Like, no. Why isn’t someone slapping us and telling us to get a grip.

I start to get confused about so many parts of my life, and it is rarely because a situation is actually confusing. It’s because I make it confusing. I am so guilty of overthinking to the point where I get physically ill. And then it hit me like a big yellow school bus, it’s all for nothing. BUT, in our defense, girls only overthink things because we strive for the best possible outcome so we want to be prepared for any possible outcome. We love good surprises, but we hate bad ones, so we mentally prepare for the worst while still planning and hoping for the best, or something decent, or the good and the bad. Literally, infinite possibilities. I think we need to just stop. Take things for what they are. Hello means hello. An apology is just an apology. Everything is what it is until it is proved or said to be otherwise. If someone says “Hey, I want you” then yeah, they want you. But assuming and twisting anothers words around to mean something totally different only screws with our minds and our own perception of the situation. Sometimes, you can even convince yourself that they actually said “I want you” instead of “hello”. I’m not saying it’s right, but I’m saying it happens.

But it shouldn’t.



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